FACESLAP?

Dearest Mr. Zuckerberg,

While I appreciate your little social networking site we commonly refer to as "Facebook," I'm less than pleased with having to conform to using the "Timeline" feature. While I appreciate getting my kicks with daily Facebook stalking, the "Timeline" feature is getting in my way! Dislike.

And to my distress, you’ve apparently decided that this feature is the best thing since sliced bread. Your conclusion? Implementing this across the board as a mandatory change regardless of my feelings. 

Of course the logical thing would be to protest your site, but I fear I'm now addicted. Humph...

Shame on you, Mark!

Hearts and puppies,

Alyssa